Life’s Chaos to Clarity: How Em Rusciano Redefined Balance After ADHD and Autism Diagnoses
Em Rusciano is no stranger to juggling the unpredictable. At 46, she wears many hats—writer, singer, podcaster, comedian, and single mother of three—all while navigating the complexities of neurodivergence. Her latest memoir, Blood, Sweat and Glitter: A Coming of Middle Age Story, offers a raw and candid look at the past seven years of her life, from leaving breakfast radio to raising neurodivergent children, experiencing perimenopause, and receiving life-altering diagnoses of ADHD and autism. But here’s where it gets personal: how did these diagnoses transform her approach to life? And this is the part most people miss—the power of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.
From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Preservation
Em’s journey began with a mindset shift. Once driven by the mantra, ‘set myself on fire to keep everyone else warm,’ she now embraces a philosophy rooted in self-care: ‘Look after yourself, eat right, get enough sleep, exercise, take in stuff that lifts you up, be around great people, and take risks.’ This change wasn’t just about survival—it was about thriving. Since her diagnoses, she’s shed the shame associated with her unique perspective on the world, instead celebrating her ability to think creatively, feel deeply, and create art that connects with others.
The Controversial Truth About ‘No’
One of the most transformative changes Em made was learning to say no. But here’s where it gets controversial: In a world that expects women, especially those in creative fields, to be endlessly accommodating, setting boundaries can feel like rebellion. ‘As a woman, you’re scared to say no for so many reasons,’ Em admits. Yet, she’s turned this fear into a filter for her life, asking herself a simple question: ‘Does this opportunity move me closer to the life I want, or further away?’ This binary approach, she says, has been a game-changer, allowing her to trust her instincts and protect her energy.
Focus Through Delegation and Dopamine
When it comes to focus, Em is refreshingly honest about her limitations. ‘I’m like a meerkat on acid,’ she jokes, acknowledging her short attention span. Instead of fighting it, she’s found ways to work with her neurodivergent brain. Delegation is her secret weapon—if a task feels overwhelming, she outsources it. And for relaxation? Vintage markets are her dopamine haven. ‘I put my headphones on, step into this huge warehouse of crazy costumes and artwork, and just visually stim,’ she shares. But her ultimate unwind spot? Anywhere near the ocean, a nod to her Piscean love for water.
The Advice That Sticks
Em’s father once told her, ‘Say what you mean, and mean what you say,’ a mantra that resonates deeply with her neurodivergent authenticity. But it’s her advice to others that truly stands out: ‘Truly considering your own wellbeing before everyone else’s is the hardest thing for women to do.’ She challenges the notion of self-care as selfish, arguing that it’s the key to showing up as a better parent, friend, and leader. And this is the part most people miss: Prioritizing yourself isn’t just beneficial—it’s revolutionary.
Food, Family, and Finding Peace
In a household with four autistic individuals, comfort food is a daily necessity. Tacos—a simple yet sacred meal of mince, guacamole, sour cream, lettuce, and tomatoes—have been a constant in Em’s life since childhood. ‘I don’t think a week’s gone by where I haven’t had a taco meal,’ she says. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the simplest things bring the most joy.
Final Thoughts: A Call to Controversy
Em’s story is a testament to the power of self-acceptance and boundary-setting. But it also raises a provocative question: In a society that glorifies busyness and self-sacrifice, is prioritizing your own wellbeing truly selfish, or is it the ultimate act of self-preservation? What do you think? Is self-care a luxury, or a necessity? Share your thoughts in the comments—let’s spark a conversation that challenges the status quo.
